The Mask

For the superhero who inspired the bullied kid in high school that one day someone will save him from those horrid swirlies.

For the girl who tried everything to rid herself from the youthful acne that caused havoc on her skin.

For the surgeon and his nurses who risked their lives to save a patient from the worst-case scenario.

For the firemen who rush into a burning building to save those that couldn’t get out on their own.

Or, even for the bandits who saw no other way than robbing someone for a better life.

Fact: they make you uncool because hiding half your face can add mystery, which is kind of hot.

Fact: they make you less masculine because if that is a concern to you it wasn’t worth holding on to that last shred of manhood anyways (do women have herd-immunity?).

Fact: they make you pass out from CO2 poisoning because passed out surgeons and bank robbers are one of the highest patient death and conviction rates, respectively, in the world.

Fact: they make you be misunderstood by groceries because if you don’t talk to your vegetables before buying them you might as well shop online.

The mask. Never since the invention of the g-string has a little piece of cloth caused this much controversy. A story that will surely find its continuity over this year.

But think about it, school shootings have caused less heated debates than this… but I guess those were just minor incidents, right?